Redefining "Good"

 

Being at Berklee seems to be about redefining my horizons.  Before I came here I thought that I had a pretty good command of the jazz language (for my age anyway).  I knew how I sounded and I knew who I wanted to sound like.  I was curious to see what other players my age were doing, as I’ve never really had a chance to interact with jazz musicians my own age. 

The Sunset View of Boston

The second night I was here, I attended a jazz jam that was more like a jazz open mic.  Small ensembles signed up and then they performed their songs.  Throughout the night, I was alternately elated by the spectacular music that was being created on stage and crushed by how astoundingly good they were.  Totally fulfilling the jazz stereotype, the amazing kids were mostly African-American, male, and horn players (with the exception of one Asian girl).  They were playing songs like Cherokee, Blue Monk, and Anthropology at astronomical speeds.  Their note choices were to die for.  And they had beautiful phrasing.  Their songs sounded like they had come right from the Bluenote label. 

Since then, how I think of my own playing has shifted dramatically.  First, I was pretty blue that there were some young kids who could play stuff that I wouldn’t even attempt.  My self-confidence fell and continued to drop.  Now, however, my feelings have shifted, turning from despair and envy into a sort of, “I want to be a black saxophone player” mentality.  The real world expression of feeling is that those kids have become my role models.  I want to sound like them.  So when I practice, I’m (hopefully) thinking like a saxophone.  I’m trying to recreate their lines.  So far though, I still sound like a violin player, albeit one playing triplets.

The Berklee Gospel Choir (at the same festival)

Tonight though, I attended a music festival held in the Boston Commons.  I heard the Smithsonian Jazz Ensemble performing a tribute to Ella Fitzgerald.  Their singer said, “this is a tribute to Ella but we are not trying to imitate her.  This is a love letter to how inspirational she was and is”.  They proceeded to play arrangements of various different songs Ella had made famous.  In other words, they played many of my favourite swing era tunes.  I knew all the songs they played and could sing along with many, like Cheek to Cheek and A-Tisket A-Tasket. 

Of course the horn solos were amazing, right in the groove and stylistically appropriate.  It was a great reminder that solos must match the song.  If their lead sax player had played a fast bebop era solo of like with which I am so infatuated right now, he would have been booed off the stage (probably not literally).  Instead, he played something tasteful and appropriate to the swing era.  The concert, which I very much enjoyed, served as a reminder that there isn’t one jazz style to rule them all.  I am not inherently a worse musician because I can’t/don’t play bebop.  While I still want to learn how to sound like a horn, this evening’s concert was a reminder to relax.  I don’t need to play like 17 year old virtuosos.